Not knowing

What a day. My two best friends are dealing with something that they cannot share with me. It still hurts when I think about it. First, anger because I didn't understand. I still don't fully. It only seemed like they were keeping it from me because of technicalities. But I see now its more of a matter of confidentiality. I still want to know. Second, pain because I i was left out. As immature and childish as it sounds - Erin isn't included. These two people normally tell me everything. It felt betrayed that they would have their conversation away from me in private so that I would stay uninvolved. I am still not entirely accepting this. Mustering up maturity. I know they want to tell me but cannot. They aren't keeping it from me because they want to. I thought our relationship superseded this because our friendship and relationship in Christ meant that we are family - an extension of each other. At least that's how I feel. Mustering up maturity. But I understand sometimes things just cannot be shared even with our loved ones. This is hard to accept. I want to know what is going on in the lives of the ones I love. In and out of the day the shades and shadows of The Situation undulate in my perception. What I don't know and what they know and what it could be. My feelings swell and stretch. I see from greater heights. But it hurts. Will I ever know? Is it important that I know? Mustering up maturity. But what I know is that they need prayers and my support. They are only doing what is right and I admire them somewhat for that. So, let me attempt to assign it to the "Not So Important" box. Let me forget for a while so I can address what is of greater importance - those I love themselves not what they know and cannot share.