Six-Flags exhaustion

I can barely concentrate. I'm in class. If I had gone to class last Thursday I might have a better idea of what the teacher is talking about. I'm also glancing at my 13 point list of things that need to be done, preferably, today. But through all this, Rick is stayed on my mind. Last night in my delirium of exhaustion, my guard was down. More than ever I wanted to jump in his lap and kiss him. I felt happy and at home with him. I wanted to be completely surrounded by him -- nestled in his strong arms and buried in his love -- peace. After falling asleep, I lumbered over to his bed and snuggled next to him. I can't describe the reaction my heart has when I recall this. Being denied all of Rick, wanting him completely, and lost in the mix of our friendship, unable to share this passion and mystery in my heart -- brings tears to my eyes and deep sighs expel from the delicious pain that poisons my heart. What do I do? God has put someone very special in my life who has awoken a part of me that has been dormant since Brad. An answer to the numerous prayers asking and pleading to find someone I can love without doubt and share my life with. Do I wait until August 22 when nursing school starts so I can escape in my studies and "get it out of my system?" But I don't want it out of my system. Hope is what gets me out of bed in the morning when I hope for the future, but hope for love returned is what sets fire to my days. Hope for him to open his eyes and see what is standing in front of him is what I have, but it is what I fear will truly obliterate my heart. For, I could have it completely wrong and I will have wasted my heart and emotions on someone who is worth it, but..."I don't want to wait in vain for your love." But after the fall semester he may leave and the intensity of our friendship will also leave. It will be smothered by distance and new preoccupations. So making the most of this semester is very important to me. The only change I see that needs to me made now is to alter my prayers:

"Dear God, please show me if there is hope to be invested for a relationship beyond friendship with this man that You blessed my life with. Help me to maintain a healthy mindset as our friendship progresses and to keep my priorities in line. Thank-you for your blessings. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."