Funky Town

I've been avoiding studying for finals. And it hangs over my head. My acts of laziness and procrastination ignited a funk. Because now I feel out of control. I can think of many things that need immediate attention: schoolwork, messy room, messy car, checkbook register, and other odds and ends. But something paralyzes me. And in my "inability" to do these things which would make me feel more clear headed, organized, and peaceful, I fool myself into thinking I am escaping. But I know I'm not. Anxiety builds. Then I see a fellow nursing student who seems to have it all together. I know she doesn't, in a general sense, but she is more together than me. I know. My lazy, overweight, irresponsible, messy, nasty self is magnified. And I sit paralyzed, escaping, comparing, depressing.

Time ticks. Three finals. Stupid me.