My sister is lost
My heart is sad. Emily is once again back with Jonathan. When he broke up with her two days before leaving for Africa it was so stressful, but hopeful. It seemed permanent. Jonathan was being an obvious jerk and after many break ups over the past two years, I had confidence Emily would not go back soon.
Being in Africa was tough at first. We fought so much. But after a week, something changed. Emily changed. She became friends with Rachael Box. That was a good thing because Rachael is one of those girls who has a strong sense of self - something Emily doesn't have. By the end of the trip, Emily was dreading going back home because she didn't want to see Jonathan. She told us she wasn't going to back to him. She still wanted it to work, but would give them space and maybe later they could get back together if it worked out. We were best buds again.
When we got back she kept her distance from him. The first week she worked and we hung out. It was rough for her to see him again at church. She cried. But we all assured her it would still take time to get past it.
Two Sunday evenings ago, Jonathan requested to speak to dad. The only thing I knew came out of that conversation was that dad told Jonathan to give Emily space.
Well the next week (a couple days before he was to have oral surgery) he left two notes on our mailbox. One addressed to Emily and the other to mom and dad. The basic gist of the letters was that he wanted one more chance. He explained how he only wanted to make Emily happy and he couldn't live with out her. He said he wantd to change.
Emily began to weaken. By the end of the day, he came to pick her up for church. He wanted to go see a movie with Emily. So I had to convince Emily to not ditch her plans with the group who were going bowling that night. Later I heard her raising her voice, trying to convince Jonathan to come bowling with us.
I cried on the way to church. I felt like I had lost Emily again. Why couldn't see be strong? Why did she run back so quick? I saw them at church together. It made me sick. At the bowling alley he was caressing her hands and holding her. I wanted to scream at him and her.
Jonathan had surgery last week. And she has been with him EVERY day for at least four hours. She would go to work then go straight to the hospital and not come home until after midnight. When he was discharged home, she went to work and straight to his house and didn't get home until I was in bed. Then Wednesday night when a group of college and youth kids went to hang out, she ditched everyone and went to be with Jonathan because he was recovering. Tonight, she got off work and didn't even come home. She went straight to Jonathan's. Mom and dad were talking to her on the phone and asked when she was coming home. They weren't sure if they should tell her when to come home. When they hung up they sounded upset that she was spending all that time with her and still didn't call back and tell her a time to be home. Dad said, "Call her and tell her a time to be home. Adults don't act like that." But mom said, "If you want to tell her you need to call her and tell her." So they never set that limit. Emily is once again lost in an unhealthy relationship. She doesn't seem to be thinking of anyone else except her relationship with Jonathan. She's gone. That short stint in Africa was the last time I got to see Emily. I don't know how to stop this from hurting me. I cannot say anything to her anymore about this because she just gets mad and we fight. I have to shut her out. I can't keep hurting from this. Everyday I am reminded in her actions and words that she is lost in this unhealthy relationship where she defines happiness in Jonathan. Sometimes I wish I had the money to move out so I won't have to see it anymore.
Being in Africa was tough at first. We fought so much. But after a week, something changed. Emily changed. She became friends with Rachael Box. That was a good thing because Rachael is one of those girls who has a strong sense of self - something Emily doesn't have. By the end of the trip, Emily was dreading going back home because she didn't want to see Jonathan. She told us she wasn't going to back to him. She still wanted it to work, but would give them space and maybe later they could get back together if it worked out. We were best buds again.
When we got back she kept her distance from him. The first week she worked and we hung out. It was rough for her to see him again at church. She cried. But we all assured her it would still take time to get past it.
Two Sunday evenings ago, Jonathan requested to speak to dad. The only thing I knew came out of that conversation was that dad told Jonathan to give Emily space.
Well the next week (a couple days before he was to have oral surgery) he left two notes on our mailbox. One addressed to Emily and the other to mom and dad. The basic gist of the letters was that he wanted one more chance. He explained how he only wanted to make Emily happy and he couldn't live with out her. He said he wantd to change.
Emily began to weaken. By the end of the day, he came to pick her up for church. He wanted to go see a movie with Emily. So I had to convince Emily to not ditch her plans with the group who were going bowling that night. Later I heard her raising her voice, trying to convince Jonathan to come bowling with us.
I cried on the way to church. I felt like I had lost Emily again. Why couldn't see be strong? Why did she run back so quick? I saw them at church together. It made me sick. At the bowling alley he was caressing her hands and holding her. I wanted to scream at him and her.
Jonathan had surgery last week. And she has been with him EVERY day for at least four hours. She would go to work then go straight to the hospital and not come home until after midnight. When he was discharged home, she went to work and straight to his house and didn't get home until I was in bed. Then Wednesday night when a group of college and youth kids went to hang out, she ditched everyone and went to be with Jonathan because he was recovering. Tonight, she got off work and didn't even come home. She went straight to Jonathan's. Mom and dad were talking to her on the phone and asked when she was coming home. They weren't sure if they should tell her when to come home. When they hung up they sounded upset that she was spending all that time with her and still didn't call back and tell her a time to be home. Dad said, "Call her and tell her a time to be home. Adults don't act like that." But mom said, "If you want to tell her you need to call her and tell her." So they never set that limit. Emily is once again lost in an unhealthy relationship. She doesn't seem to be thinking of anyone else except her relationship with Jonathan. She's gone. That short stint in Africa was the last time I got to see Emily. I don't know how to stop this from hurting me. I cannot say anything to her anymore about this because she just gets mad and we fight. I have to shut her out. I can't keep hurting from this. Everyday I am reminded in her actions and words that she is lost in this unhealthy relationship where she defines happiness in Jonathan. Sometimes I wish I had the money to move out so I won't have to see it anymore.
posted by The Light Fantastic at
6:05 PM
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