Looking for love

Dana said that she went through 7 bad dates before Eric and last Christmas she said that she would have a boyfriend by this Christmas. Well, she will have a husband instead!

Erin says you will find him when you stop looking. It will happen when you least expect it.

Well, I am going to concentrate on it this summer. It seems like opportunities keep popping up. Rick, JD, Chad, Jake, and Brant. This summer is a transition summer. I will finish my prerequisites and I will find out where I will be going to nursing school. So when I find out and start school -- that's when I will stop and formerly give up as I concentrate on my studies and my future. (Unless of course I begin dating someone seriously this summer -- duh!) When the summer ends and I am still single, I hope I can really reach this point of not looking. And if by the end of nursing school, when I finally receive my BSN, and I am still single, I am going to work in Tuscaloosa for 1 year then become a travel nurse. I will be 24 or 25 depending the nursing school.

Literature Help Needed NOW!

Here's what I have so far....

Emily Dickinson and Elizabeth Bishop both lived in Massachusetts but in different centuries. Most of Bishop’s writings were inspired by travel. Conversely, Dickinson’s poetry was inspired by her self-seclusion. Dickinson’s poem, "I felt a Funeral, in my Brain" and Bishop’s poem, "In the Waiting Room" will be the subjects compared and contrasted. Although different in mode, both poems describe transformations through knowledge.

Location is the key difference in these two poems. The setting in Dickinson’s poem takes place in a funeral procession while in Bishop’s a waiting room. The figurative implication that the different settings convey is very apparent. Dickinson’s transformation is a death. This signifies a conclusion or an end. But death can be also be a release. In this case, a release from a rational way of thinking. A waiting room, however, points to a new beginning. Life is a new beginning. However, if this new beginning is filled with an acute awareness of the world’s harsh realties, then it is not always pleasant.

The idea of transformation through knowledge is central to both poems. "I – we – were falling, falling" (Bishop) and "And I dropped down, and down – " (Dickinson) are lines in each work that signifies this tumbling into knowledge. Both authors give the impression that this sudden descent couldn’t be stopped. This illustrates the power of knowledge over innocence. Once knowledge is gained, falling from artlessness is inevitable and unstoppable. One cannot stop seeing and understanding life and the world. When Bishop’s character underwent her transformation, she was suddenly aware of the "night and slush and cold" that she did not notice all that much before. Dickinson’s character was unable to hold on to reason.

The poems have different results from the transformation. Dickinson’s poem leaves us falling. The audience is not sure what is next if there is anything at all. The last stanza in Bishop’s poem describes a return to the physical world, but now with more understanding of humanity and the world. The knowledge gained transformed the character into a less innocent child more aware of her surroundings. But in Dickinson’s poem there is no return to reality. Knowledge gained transformed the character with the inability to grasp the world and reason with it, death. The character does not know what happens after death. What is one to do without somewhere to go? Fall and wait for the bottom.

It lack a conclusion. Any tips or ideas to make this longer would be great!

JLT

I spent the weekend in Arkansas. It was great! I arrived Friday evening to Erin cooking chicken fajitas. She looked thinner than the last time I saw her (2 1/2 years ago). We immediately became comfortable with each other. Jeremy (her fiance) and his brother (Josh) would be arriving soon. Jeremy drives a milk truck for Borden. He is a pretty huge guy who I immediately felt comfortable around. Josh is the first single brother I would meet. He is a student at Mississippi State University, majoring in agribusiness and economics. We enjoyed the evening together. I fit right in. Josh was cute.

I guess I should explain why visited Arkansas. My friend Erin Wood is getting married to Jeremy Thomason. Erin and I go back to the summers at Beaver Creek Bible Camp at the Beaver Creek Reserve, just outside of Eau Claire, WI. At that time she lived in Owatonna, MN and I lived in Sycamore, IL. All the little kids at BCBC thought we were sisters because we had the same name. Fond memories include standing on top of the rocks in the Fall River after a long canoe trip having a spitting contest. Erin went to Harding University while I, a year later, went to Freed-Hardeman University. My first and only semester at FHU, I went to Searcy, AR to visit Erin. We went on a double date. This is when I first met Jeremy. Erin graduated in three years with a degree in elementary education and set up permanent residence in AR. I moved to Alabama. Now, Erin is getting married June 17. She lives in De Valls Bluff and teaches in Clarendon. I made this trip primarily to meet the other bridesmaids and get my dress altered.

Saturday Erin and I went to The Bridal Cottage to get my dress altered. The dress size was a 22! I wear a size 18. So there was a lot of altering. The bill was pretty high. The dress itself was $177! Then add shoes ($60), strapless bra ($36), bra cups ($20), and alterations ($40) -- that's $333! Here is Erin's dress, she looks spectacular! Here is my dress. After alterations, Erin, Courtney (Jeremy's little cousin), Courtney's boyfriend Beau, and I went to Riverfest in Little Rock. That was awesome. I highly enjoyed Sum of Us, Andy Childs, and Hank Williams, Jr. In the middle of Andy Childs' performance, which was spectacular, Jake showed up. In the line of brothers, Jake is fondly referred to as "Number 2." (Jeremy, being the oldest is "Number 1," Josh is "Number 3," and Joe is "Number 4." This is what I knew of Jake before I met him him. He is 23, 6'8, and a great dancer! When I met him I was immediately attracted to him. When Bocephus took the stage, the party officially started. I was standing between Jake and Josh. We danced and had a great time. By this time I already had the hots for Jake. After the concert we went to the Electric Cowboy. I was nervous about this one. I don't go to clubs, but I love to dance and this was a mix of honkeytonk and club. When a slow country song came up, Jake came up to me, grabbed my hand, and lead me to the dance floor.

He taught me the two step and he was so smooth and cute and he twirled me and we laughed and he sang to me and it was so great! Butterflies. Then the fast country song came on. And we were swinging our hips and he was so cute and suave and handsome!

Needless to say I was crushing. But after those dances, I didn't dance with him anymore. I danced with Josh because I didn't want to leave him out and I had fun with him too. I was intimidated afterward to initiate a dance with Jake. While Jake and I were dancing, we had a short conversation. He said, "So you're from up north?" I said, "Well, I live in Alabama, but I lived in Illinois before that." He said, "Oh you don't look or sound northern. You're a quiet one." I said, "What do northern people look like? Its hard to have a conversation when loud music is playing" He said, "Yea." I said, "You're a good dancer!" He said, "The only problem is I really don't know what I'm doing." Not much happened after that.

We got back to De Valls Bluff around 3am. After taking showers and washing clothes we hit the hay only to wake up the next morning at 10 for church. Before I left I told Erin and Jeremy that I liked Jake. I left around 12:30 and arrived in Tuscaloosa around 6pm. Jake and Josh both don't have a computer let alone internet. But I really want to keep in touch with them, especially Jake. I think I am going to call Erin sometime this week and get Jake's cell phone number and text message him. But I will be heading back to AR June 15 and we are going dancing after the wedding!

Love keeping me up at night

Shouting at me now!

Pleasurable tension between the many persuasions

of the "L word,"

seek harmony of its counterparts.

First comprehension

then security,

or else meet Waterloo.

For, a part can never expect fruit,

romantically.

Emily

I think I have been avoiding it. I guess I would like to think its just growing pains. I know better. Her high school years, have they always been overshadowed by that nameless monster that creeps into every thought, emotion, and reaction? When I finally force it out of her, I am motivated toward action, but the sooner I forget, then the painful reminder and horror seems to go away. How stupid could I be? How agonizing it was when I was in her shoes. I'm the big sister and I've experienced it. I can save her. It will take persistence to plow through our parent's wall they created so they can avoid it. This wall is heavily guarded with primetime television, silencing their escapist daughters to finish a silly program. They are blind to what extent they have lost us. I hope for their sake they never know. Wishing other men were my father, hurts enough. It is good they don't see. But if I can just pry their eyes open just enough to get Emily help, that is all I ask.

Double Date

Last Saturday I went on a blind date with my best friend and her fiance. It was horrible! We had been talking on the phone all during that week and it wasn't spectacular. As soon as I hopped in the truck I knew it wasn't going to work. I know that sounds superficial! Well we head to Sonic with the other couple following. I was so incredibly nervous and hungry, I wolfed down a hamburger, fries, and a smoothie. We barely made conversation with each other. Thirty minutes later we left for the softball fields. He was playing for his men's team and we were going to watch. After the first half inning, me and the other couple were lost in our own world. Occasionally, we would remember to root and cheer for Chad (my date). During the last inning, someone hit a foul ball and it came soaring into the stands. I quickly covered my head and -- BANG -- it hit my shoulder blade. It didn't really hurt because as a softball player myself it's not uncommon to get hit everyone once in a while. But it was so embarrassing. All the people in the stands, and there were quite a few, gasped and stared! Dana, my friend also on the date, put her arm around me and we laughed. What would have made it perfect was if Chad had hit that foul ball. So the game ends and he comes over and after laughing at me because I got hit by the ball says, "Here it is. I am just going to go the house. I don't feel good. My arm hurts and I'm hot. Hey, there's my friend over there that I work with! I'll probably hang around here for a little bit." Relieved and shocked, I stammered, "Um. Ok. I need to get my wallet and keys out of my truck." He then proceeds to hand me his keys so that I can unlock it myself! Flawlessly, I find the Toyota key, unlock the door, and grab my stuff. I give him a quick hug and murmured some salutation and we left. The rest of the night was great. Before I left Dana's I said, "Remember that double date we went on? And I got hit with the ball?" We laughed. Good times!

Meaningful Quiz #20

Your Political Profile

Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Interim

the time between one event, process, or period and another

My first 5 days into this 15 day literature class I have read 36 poems, 7 short stories, and 3 essays.

Midterm next Wednesday!

Busy

1. 1 semester shoved into 3 1/2 weeks.
2. Virus going around.
3. Double date.
4. Planning a lingerie party.
5. Working 20+ hours.
6. Playing softball 2x a week.
7. Applying to nursing school.
8. Bridesmaid dresses.
9. Frustrating and awkward phone conversations.

A previous (mistake) interest

Comparing BamaMcGee and unleashthejacob A thorough analysis. Unquestionable truths. unleashthejacob is MUCH more compassionate. (BamaMcGee's max: 25.1% ...unleashthejacob's min: 55.1% ...at least 30.1% different) BamaMcGee is greedier. (unleashthejacob's max: 63.9% ...BamaMcGee's min: 77.3% ...at least 13.4% different) Link: See the comparison with sweet graphs. Individuals: BamaMcGee and unleashthejacob. Created by Harvard math grads: OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Victorious!

I finally managed to download McAfee's Security System (provided free to students, staff, and faculty at the University of Alabama). I expect to see marked improvement of how my laptop runs. With Zone Alarm, Ad-Aware, and McAfee's Security Center (with virus scan and personal firewall) -- all free -- my laptop should be in fine shape. I have my Linksys wireless internet card so I can access the internet at any number of the university's buildings or the coffee shops around town. Google's toolbar blocks popups as well as provide direct access to my blog. Communication is superb with Trillian gracefully combining all the important messengers into one program and Gmail effortlessly providing tons of storage space to send and receive email. I feel I have taken a step closer to computer and internet enlightenment!

New Product #1

Diet Coke Sweetened with Splenda®

Pretty tasty! As Diet Coke jumps on the Splenda bandwagon, it manages to create a diet cola that tastes more like regular cola. Splendid! It doesn't have that aspartame bite, but offers a smooth coke-drinking experience. I personally hope my parents switch and stock the fridge with this new and improved Diet Coke -- as I live with them and don't do the grocery shopping!

Blogging Tips #1

The Top Ten Mistakes to Avoid When Blogging

No. 1 - No Theme to Your Blog

Most people who read a specific blog on a consistent basis do so because they are interested in the topic - whether it is your personal life events, your stand on a political issue, or what colour of underwear you prefer to wear. If you do not stick to your theme for the majority of the entries in your blog, you will lose readership. If you are trying to profit financially from your blog via advertisers, this is money right out of your pocket.]

No. 2 - Unexplained Time Gaps in Your Blog

The unit of time between blog entries is entirely your choice and does not matter nearly as much as consistency in keeping to your schedule, be it hourly, daily, weekly, biweekly, or monthly. If you stray too far from your set blog posting expectations, visitors may well think you have left the world of blogging behind. If you need to take a break, post an entry to that effect. This repercussions of making this mistake are proportional to the length of time between your blog entries - if you blog hourly, an occasional missed entry will be forgiven by most, but if you blog less frequently than once per week, do not let time pass by without an explanation.

No. 3 - Blogging About Your Workplace Without Permission

Many corporations now have official bloggers, where blogging about the company is part of someone's job description (hopefully someone who enjoys blogging or it will not succeed). However, if you blog about your company for your own reasons (be it on your own time or on company time), be aware that you are taking a big risk. Even if you do not say anything derogatory or reveal personal/business secrets in your blog, your company may not appreciate being exposed in any manner on the Internet. There are some famous cases of people losing their jobs over blogging and the incidents are increasing in number, so be careful if you choose this route (and do the right thing and not blog on company time).

No. 4 - Straying Too Far From Your Blog's Theme

Although there are people who will read any blog they see, most have favorites that they visit regularly for any number of reasons - they like your style, your content, your relevancy, your timing, your personality, etc. Any changes to your blog could lose you visitors, but the biggest culprit is the theme or general topic. Realize as well that unless you monitor your posted comments carefully, some may subtly change your theme or cause it to take on a "club-members-only" appearance, which will lose you readers.

No. 5 - Involvement in Blogging Spam

An increasing trend of setting up dozens or hundreds of blogs with links to commercial sites to increase search engine position for the linked businesses has become a huge problem. Google and other large search engines, which do not currently have posted consequences for blog spam, will probably feel the need to add such clauses to their Terms of Services and start banning suspect bloggers. Use conventional SEO methods; don't resort to blog spam to get traffic to your websites, or consequences could be implemented that will hurt not just you, but legitimate bloggers using, but not abusing, the link system.

No. 6 - Ignoring Comments Posted to Your Blog

If you choose to allow people to post comments to your blog, be warned that this could become a huge commitment. As well, there are two other risks. It is only polite to respond to all comments in some fashion in your blog (or via some other form of communication such as an email), but if you choose not to, you risk being spammed by those you ignore. Spam can be dealt with, but more importantly, without the back-and-forth of discussion about comments, you risk your blog becoming a virtual chat room that some visitors will not find appealing. Blogs are about opinions, so do not be afraid to comment on your comments.

No. 7 - Posting Libelous Material on Your Blog

Although we would all like to think that freedom of speech should apply everywhere, if you insult the wrong person in your blog, be aware of the risks. If you have someone who is not happy with something you have said, they may go to considerable lengths to discover who you are and who are the people you are talking (you'd hoped anonymously) about. The consequences can range from lawsuits, jobs lost, reputations ruined, relationships and friendships ended, embarrassment to innocent parties, all the way down to how you feel about yourself as a person. It may be fun for a while, but in the end, it rarely works out well for the blogger.

No. 8 - Using Too Much Insider or Regional Talk

Remember that your audience is worldwide and many of them are not as computer savvy as you may think. Regional slang, little known acronyms, or words that you have coined from a comment written eons ago may not be understood by visitors. If they cannot understand what you are saying, they will not read your blog regularly. Of course, if your blog is geared to a specific theme where you only wish to have an audience who is "in the know", go ahead and use insider lingo, but make sure that is your purpose and accept that your audience may not grow to be are large as you wish. Blogging is about building communities online and sometimes that involves teaching others about your interests to expand that community.

No. 9 - Writing Way Too Much

Some people like to read long, descriptive blogs, but the vast majority of readers want a quick read. This is particularly important if you are blogging about politics. With an election year (2004) in the United States, political blogging has exploded, but something is missing from it. Political blogs that are personal in nature are one thing, but the proliferation of political blogging by traditional journalists has been disappointing. Some are trying to imitate a form of communication they are not experienced writing, and many fail in trying to impersonate a traditional blog by filling it with details such as who they were having coffee with at which coffee chain when they overheard something a campaign worker said.

No. 10 - Not Realizing That the Internet Has a Permanent Memory

The last of the Top Ten Mistakes, but perhaps the most serious mistake a blogger can make, is to forget that whatever you post on the Internet has the potential to become immortal. Because people place your blog on their favorite places, copy your blog onto their hard drive, quote it on their blog, and print it out, whatever you say on the Internet has the potential to never go away. The danger is that you have no idea who might be doing any one of those things with your blog. Additionally, remember that your blog may be sitting in computer caches all over the world. Be sure you are clear about what you want to say and how you want to say it, because it is entirely possible that someone, somewhere will keep a copy. If you are at all concerned, be certain not to use an email address you need for another reason or to reveal personal information. If you are worried, change your IP address as often as you feel necessary.Blogs originally began as web logs - journals or logs with a theme that just happened to be posted on the Internet. Then they became "we blogs" and eventually just "blogs", but blogs are in danger of losing that indescribable something that made them so intriguing. A big reason for the proliferation of blogs was the fact that anyone can blog for free - no need to buy special software, no cost to have your blog on the Internet if you didn't want to. Now that big business and politics are involved, the blog is in danger of disappearing as a unique form of expression. Try to avoid the above mistakes and help keep blogging a part of individual expression, not just another step along the way to further commercialization of the Internet.

And yes, this blog doesn't have a particular theme (but I do have 2 blogs that do) and this entry isn't particularly short, but these are tips for you and me so oh well!

Meaninful Quiz #19

You are a sock. You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person. A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic. You fall for the opposite sex very easily. But be careful, because usually you don't know what you are getting into, and because you are very sensitive, you can get hurt... especially in early relationships. Also, don't exclude the cold-hearted from your "want-list", because they just might be looking for a kind person to warm up their heart.... or a sock to warm up their feet. Most compatible with: Toilet Paper.

Toilet Paper. He is used and taken advantage of by a lot of people, including his friends. They make him be the one to clean up their messes in their life. But the only reason that this happens is because of his kindness and commitment. These are the qualities most members of the opposite sex look for, which makes him hot. Yes, toilet paper is hot. But be careful that his lover doesn't use you to their advantage, and be sure that they are not seeking too much control. Remember: Toilet paper is used by many, but is most often considered valuable when it is not there in time of need. Most compatible with: sock. Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?

An addition to my library

The first paperback edition of the classic biography of the founder of the Mormon church, this book attempts to answer the questions that continue to surround Joseph Smith. Was he a genuine prophet, or a gifted fabulist who became enthralled by the products of his imagination and ended up being martyred for them?

After her first son was born in 1942, Brodie was awarded an Alfred A. Knopf biography fellowship in 1943 to write a biography of Joseph Smith, Jr., founder of the Latter Day Saint movement. Called No Man Knows My History, the title alludes to a speech Smith gave shortly before his death in which he denies any mortal could fully know his saga. Brodie's book was published to critical praise in late 1945. The biography made many claims contrary to official LDS Church doctrine about Smith's life and teachings. For example, it speculated about how Smith may have written the Book of Mormon which he claimed was translated with divine aid from Golden Plates. Brodie also wrote about how Smith supposedly convinced people he even had Golden Plates. She detailed connections between Masonic rituals and LDS temple rituals; some Latter-day Saints find Brodie's perspective on this connection both simplistic and sacrilegious. Brodie interpreted all of Smith's purported revelations as being merely expedient, and saw Smith as power-hungry and lustful. This opinion was formed, in part, by her research of James Strang, leader of a small splinter-group who claimed that Smith recorded power-obsessed thoughts in an encoded diary. A power-hungry conception of Smith is portrayed througout No Man Knows My History. Initial drafts of the book were even more hostile to Smith, but Bernard Brodie, her husband, and Dale Morgan, who was Fawn Brodie's mentor, urged her to write a more balanced account in order to be taken seriously. These reviewers thought the drafts were unsatisfactory because they failed to be sympathetic enough even to explain Smith's popularity. Some readers still cite this problem. However, the book remains notable, especially for its laborious attempts to document Smith's plural marriages. An expanded edition was published in 1971. Brodie was excommunicated from the LDS Church in May, 1946 for apostasy, which included refusing to edit or alter controversial material in her book. She was unsurprised about the excommunication, and proclaimed that she had lost her faith before her work on the book began. Brodie regretted hurting her parents, but never sought to rejoin the church. Like Brodie's later biography of Thomas Jefferson, No Man Knows My History has been criticized by some historians as speculative and biased. Another excommunicated Mormon historian, D. Michael Quinn, claims that Brodie failed to take Smith's religious claims seriously (New Mormon History, xiv). This view is popularly held among mainstream historians, much more so now than when the book was initially published. Prominent LDS writer and apologist Hugh Nibley challenged many of Brodie's claims in a booklet, No, Ma'am, That's Not History. Primarily, Nibley challenged her selective use of sources. Too often, Nibley asserted, Brodie relied on anti-Mormon newspaper stories over less biased sources. Nonetheless, Brodie's biography is a favorite among some critics of the Latter Day Saint movement, especially anti-Mormons. Interestingly, some anti-Mormons such as Jerald and Sandra Tanner regard Brodie's work as sloppy and unreliable even though her unsympathetic view of Smith mirrors their own. One such criticism attacks Brodie's brief treatment of the so-called "Solomon Spalding hypothesis" in appendix B. The Spalding hypothesis supposed that Joseph Smith based the book of Mormon off of the Spalding manuscript, a narrative about pre-Columbian Americans. The theory speculated Smith may have been aided by Sidney Rigdon, who was more formally educated than Smith. Brodie rejected the hypothesis proposing Smith as the sole writer, but the appendix is thought to be less rigorously researched, an afterthought. In spite of its shortcomings, No Man Knows My History is often considered the standard naturalistic biography of Joseph Smith.

Runaway Bride

Will someone please tell me the story, from the beginning, about this Runaway Bride. I keep hearing snippets of information about her, but I am clueless about what is going on. I remember when she was reported "missing" and I saw a picture of her fiance and mother crying and hugging.

Delving Deep: Part 2

Who do I want to be?

I want to be a better me. I want to be a beautiful woman who possesses many talents. Her life is together and she can do anything. She is a Christian. She plays the guitar and sings beautifully. She is fluent in French. She is a fabulous cook. She is a magnificent writer, a passionate wife, and a loving mother. She can capture the world with a camera and her personal library is expansive -- covering all types of literature. She has a competitive spirit and cares for the health of her family and environment. She is healthy and active and soaks up life. She loves to learn and succeed and try new things. She wants to change the world. She loves deepy and passionately. People look up to her as a source of inspiration. Her life is focused on God and spreading His word. I am all this, but need to be tamed in order for all the qualities to be fully realized. Every day I am more the person I want to be.

Nursing Application

The application that will start the process that will decide whether I will graduate in 2007 or 2008, attend a community college or the university, and -- well I guess that's it -- only asks for my school history starting at high school and the classes I am currently taking! That's it! I can't right a moving essay on why I chose to pursue the nursing profession or why I would best represent The Capstone. But really, I decided whether I will be accepted or not when I decided not to study for that Anatomy test or procrastinated in writing that literature paper. The letter I get in the mail will be the fruit of all that I did or did not accomplish in the last 3 years.

No Pressure!

Off course there is always Shelton (the community college...)

Meaningful Quiz #18

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% Austin

60% Denver

55% Atlanta

55% Portland

55% San Diego

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Gut Feeling

When I have a feeling that something, mainly dating relationships, aren't going to work, I know from the beginning. Slight OCD kicks in. I keep having to convince myself to relax and just to go with the flow. Thoughts like, "Erin, you don't have to be completely sure of this. Just have fun" begin to echo in my mind. But dating is serious to me. Its a big deal to share not only my life with someone, but my heart and passions. But my thought system isn't as rational as all this sounds. Many fleeting thoughts, perceptions, and emotions flow through my mind, most of which are tinged with irrationality. This sparks more rumination and more anxiety. Then suddenly I realize that this isn't a "problem" that needs to be fixed, its OCD. Then I am reminded of the Brain Lock method. Because my OCD is episodic I don't have to always deal with it. Then my coping skills get rusty and when it hits, I have to relearn how to deal with it. Just writing this entry has provided some comfort from these mild OCD thoughts.

Cavalia

A new show from one of the founders of Cirque du Soleil, Cavalia employs majestic Lusitanos with braided manes that reach down to their legs. The horses are unbridled for most of the performance, so they run, rear up, and kick as they wish. The show is the first to include stallions. Cavalia will travel to major U.S. cities over the next two years.

JD

Abdel Majeed. In between studying, sleeping, eating, and procrastinating I have been pondering the relationship possibilities between JD and I. He commented yesterday, "Man, I feel in comfortable around you!" That made me feel good because I did too. We kept up with each other today -- finals, the summer, his trip back home, etc. And I realized that he wanted to keep in touch with me outside of our class. I knew I did, but felt insecure to show this. Our last conversation today on the phone ended with plans. Coffee on Monday, see a movie sometime, and my softball game. I hung up and froze. Where is this going? Where do I want this to go? I know about letting things go and just see where it ends up, but that is against my nature. I have OCD and that train of thought has always been hard to achieve. The issues that are on my mind is his religion and the way he lives life. Now, my standard is that I don't date someone I couldn't see myself marrying. But my standards also stress marrying someone who will help me get to heaven. This entails a lot more than meets the eye, but I won't go into much detail. If JD was just Muslim I would be fine with building a friendship and looking at possibilities for something more, faithful that I would either convert him or have the strengh to end the relationship. But JD is also very worldly. Although he physically has roots all over the world, this is referring more to the college lifestyle and the post modern way of thinking. I don't drink, smoke, or cus. I don't believe that anything goes, but I do respect people. But my goal is bring these people with me to heaven. Therefore, in order to obey God's commands I do bring up touchy issues and step on some toes. But in a dating relationship having respect for someone else's beliefs that are incompattible to mine, simply wouldn't work. That is fine in a friendship, but not in a romantic relationship.

He leaves for Jordan this Thursday. My objectives are simply to keep being a good example, invite him to church, and strengthen our friendship. He will be across the ocean for about a week and a half. During that time I am going to do some reading. Evertt L. Huffard wrote a book entitled Christ or the Qur'an? and Apologetics press has many articles.

Meaningful Quiz #17

You Are Independent Sexy You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act" Except, it's really not an act at all. You're a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests. And makes men even more interested in you! What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Ugh

My day officially started at 8:15 this morning when Dana and I left to study at the Arboretum. JD arrived around 11am to start studying Nutrition with me. We have been together up until now -- 7pm. That's 8 hours! Let me quickly run through the day's events up until this point. From 11-12 we studied and chatted. It was pleasant. Then we grabbed some lunch. He paid and we had a great time talking and eating. We decided to go to the library. Its near 2pm now. Around 3:30 he arrives at Gorgas. We study. I didn't take a shower this morning so I my hair is getting progressively greasier. I had a hard time studying. But the thing more on my mind was this adventure with JD. I thought there was a chance that he might come to my softball game, but I wasn't really sure since he had one more final to study for than I did. Then after maybe we could spend the rest of the night studying. But as the afternoon drug on and the evening set in, the library became more and more cold and unfriendly. But I planned to stay until my game, thinking JD would do the same. An hour before my sister is due to arrive with my softball uniform and some food, JD leaves. Now the unhappy ickiness completely took over. Why did he have to leave? I don't want to spend a lonely hour in this unfriendly library that I have already spent the last 4 hours willing myself to study in. This ugly emotion of unhappy unsatisfaction is a result of spending too much time in this library.

The phone rings. Its JD. He asks me what time I am getting up. Maybe he wants to meet up before the test to review. He wants me to call him as soon as I wake up to make sure he doesn't sleep in and miss the final. Ugh.

I know this confusing emotion has nothing to do with JD. The day seemed so promising. Only to end up like this. Late evening. Having only gone through 2 1/2 chapters out of 8. Ugh. I hate this library. But Emily will be here in 40 minutes. No since in leaving now.

Meaningful Quiz #16

Your English Skills:

Punctuation: 100%

Grammar: 60%

Spelling: 40%

Vocabulary: 20%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

John Rush

"Averaging more than 200 dates a year, John Rush is making a name for himself in the college campus and club circuit. With a set list that covers more than 500 songs and over 150 different groups, John Rush plays Half Original-Half Cover depending upon what the audience requests. The Boston Globe called John a "Human Jukebox" because he can play more than 55 hours of music upon request!"

"If you like powerful lyrics and great melodies --- you'll love this CD!"
--The Boston Globe

Serenity Prayer (Unabridged)

GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,

Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.

Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next.

Amen

Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
Reinhold Niebuhr was a Protestant Theologian best known for his study of the task of relating the Christian faith to the reality of modern politics and diplomacy. He is a crucial contributor to modern just war thinking and a proponent of Karl Barth's neo-orthodoxy. Niebuhr was born in Wright City, Missouri, USA, the son of a liberally minded German-American pastor, Gustav, and the brother of Helmut Richard Niebuhr. Niebuhr decided to follow in his father's footsteps and enter the ministry. He attended Elmhurst College, Illinois, graduating in 1910 and then going on to Eden Seminary St. Louis, Missouri. Finally he attended Yale University where he received his Bachelor of Divinity Degree in 1914. In 1915 he was ordained a pastor and spent the next thirteen years serving the Evangelical Church in Detroit. During the outbreak of World War II, the pacifist leanings of his liberal roots were brought under challenge and he began to distance himself from the pacifism of his more liberal colleagues, becoming a staunch advocate for the war.

Meaningful Quiz #15

The Nightmare of the American Dream

What is a dream? The answer to this question depends on how it is used. The word can be used to describe "a series of mental images and emotions occurring during sleep" (Google, dream). In this case, there are several types of dreams; daydreams, lucid dreams, and nightmares just to name a few. A nightmare is a dream arousing feelings of intense fear, horror, and distress. It can be caused by stresses in life, relationships, and work (Dream Moods). Another way the word dream is used is to describe an ambition or desire, such as the American Dream (Google, dream). This comes from the idea that through hard work, courage, and determination one can achieve prosperity (Google, american). Normally, the American Dream carries a positive connotation, but in some cases it can be negative. If the American Dream is in fact a dream, then just like any other, it can also be a nightmare. Such is the case for black slaves in the 1800s. Harriet Jacobs, who wrote “Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl,” and Frederick Douglass, who wrote “Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Written by Himself,” told their story of life as slaves. In these particular works, the nightmare of being a slave is a result of their master seeking to achieve the American Dream. While the American Dream was being realized for the white man the American Nightmare was born for the black people he enslaved to produce the hard work to make the dream possible.
Stressors of life cause nightmares. The perception of a loss of control one has over life and its events are examples of such stressors. Slaves are pieces of property owned by white men who paid for them. In order to be fully utilized, slaves are broken – emotionally, mentally, and physically – until they lose their humanity and become a machine for work. Obviously, how a slave perceives the world is a result of being dehumanized. It becomes too easy to believe that their individual worth is set at a monetary price their master bought them. Nevertheless, some slaves cling to their humanity and reject the notion that a slave auction defines their self-worth. When a receipt of Jacobs’s sale was shown to her, she was floored, stating, “A human being sold in the free city of New York” (Jacobs, 1777). This apparent contradiction is a nightmare for this American. Further, having no control over her freedom in a free country only increased the stress. In order to exert some amount of control in her life, Jacobs created choices for herself. When her master was going to keep her as his mistress to indulge in his sexual desires, Jacobs chose not to endure this rape by losing her virginity to another man (1767.) This act in this day in age would render her impure and be of no value to another man, including her master. Her life as slave and woman was considerably different compared to non-slave women. Jacobs realizes this difference when she says, “the slave woman ought not to be judged by the same standards as others” (1767). She is able to maintain her humanity by creating choices and options that were not typical of non-slaves, no matter how negative.
Just as life can cause nightmares, relationships are also a source of pressure. The most prominent relationship in a slave’s life is his master. Sadly, it is most often the most negative. A master seeks to break his slaves to maximize his use of them. This requires physical brutality as well as emotional and mental oppression. Douglass describes how masters kept slaves from knowing their birthdays (Douglass, 2040). Birthdays are celebrations of life and of self. If slaves have a sense of self, they are more human. Fear is also a powerful way to wield control. Douglass described his master as
…one of those who could torture the slightest look, word, or gesture, on the part of the slave, into impudence, and would treat it accordingly….His savage barbarity was equaled only by the consummate coolness with which he committed the grossest and most savage deeds upon his slaves…(2048).
Living in fear of someone and without having any choice but to follow is a heavy burden to carry. This fear begins to infect the mind, the heart, and the soul. Enduring this physical pain, emotional torture, and mental anxiety is a nightmare.
Problems arising from one’s work, job, or profession is a source of stress that causes nightmares. For the case of the slave, his work is his life. A slave’s primary job is to obey his master. This sounds easy enough, but the price is most often exploitation. The reality is that slaves are “a piece of merchandise…liable to be demanded of them [slave owners] at any moment” (Jacobs, 1759). These loyal, hard workers are completely unprotected from the law and these laws demote slaves to a piece of property wholly subject to someone else’s command. This already unfair situation worsens when slaves are denied the right to enjoy the fruits of their hard work. They are rewarded by more work and serious consequences for slipping up. Just as Americans today slap the side of their cell phones when they do not function as efficiently or affectively as they “should”, slaves are treated as machines with a specific purpose and that can most often be easily replaced. The only problem is that these machines have a soul, a mind, and a heart that needs to be beaten out. A hideous nightmare is human beings regarded as machinery for a single purpose, to work.
When the dream of prosperity motivated men like Douglass’ master to seek a better life, it was comforting to believe it would be better for all. Sadly, this was not the case. Men escaped oppression only to oppress others. Wealth and prestige were achieved, but the American Dream was not. Slaves did the hard work necessary to bring about such desired affluence, but they were not allowed to enjoy it. Slave masters undertook atrocious acts to ensure their resources without getting their hands wet of the honest work required. Nevertheless, they basked in the fruits of someone else’s work. This is not the American Dream, either. This is an abominable nightmare. However, nightmares are dreams. Maybe, these hopeful white men actually found what they were looking for – a cheap way to “achieve” means without work – the American Dream.

Literature Paper

Its 10:48 pm on a Sunday night and I am not halfway done with my paper that is due tomorrow at 8am. This has got to be the worst paper I have ever written. Does anyone out there want to help me and proofread what I have written so far? I've got about 3 hours left on my Ritalin. I am currently connected to the internet via my new Linksys Wireless-G Notebook Adapter. I am using UA Public Wireless Connection at the main library of the University of Alabama. Hee Hee. I should apply for that $20 rebate!